Choices

I am most definitely an over thinker. I tend to make small decisions into really big deals and stress myself out over whether or not something is what God wants me to do or not. I get frustrated when it's not clear. Today at church our pastor was talking about choices. I loved his simple advise. "Does it please God?". Yes? Or no? I think I tend to get more wrapped up in the consequenses and ramification that may come back on ME instead of turning the focus onto HIM alone. So often I find I don't want to make a wrong decision because it's not what God has in MY best interest. Still, I'm missing the point because I'm only thinking about myself. Does it please Him??? It's not about what happens to me, it all about and only about Him.

The Drums!

This past Thursday we were back in the studio recording the final drum tracks for 'Ocean'. After setting up and tearing down the drum set three times we were finally ready to go. I was pretty excited when I learned that the drums we were using were the same ones that Barlow Girl used last time they played a show here in town :) The guy on drums is a friend of mine who's 15 named Gabe Reasoner. He amazes me.. I don't think I'm coordinated enough to ever be as good of a drummer as he is (or a drummer at all)! Singing and playing guitar is about as complex as I get.. even talking while I play confuses me.. haha. He did an incredible job though!

Several weeks ago I went in and recorded my scratch tracks of all five songs, which basically is just a rough recording of me and the guitar set to a click track (to keep it in time). This is what Gabe listened to to record the drums. We just locked him up in the recording room and didn't let him out until he was done :)

For the song "Oceans" I asked a friend of mine, Thad Joyce to play the djembe, which is an African style drum. I LOVE the sound of it!!! Every time I listen to it I'm back in Africa, which makes me smile.

I would say that overall it went really smoothly. We probably spent 4 hours in the studio. I didn't have to do anything so I enjoyed just hanging out with my friend Caitlyn and eating dried mangos and jelly beans and watching as the songs took on a brand new life and heartbeat.

Adventure in the Studio Part 1

Here's a little clip of the fun.... :)

Recording 101

Ok, so most of you know that I'm recording a CD right now and I've been getting a lot of questions about it.. so I decided that I'm going to start blogging about it! It's funny because most people will ask me how it works, like the process it's self, and to be completely honest, I really don't know! So, I just thought it would be fun to let you in on the journey as I learn the ropes and experience the process myself. Thankfully I have lots of people helping me out and showing me what's going on, otherwise I wouldn't even have known where to start. This has been a goal of mine for a REALLY long time and to see it coming about it really exciting for me! I feel so blessed to have all of the people involved with this by my side, and there are so many others that have played a part in this that don't even know it! The encouragement, guidance, and inspiration I've received from all of you is a huge part in making this CD possible. Actually, it's not really a CD, it's more of an EP, which stands for 'extended play'. EPs or typically 20-30 min. long verses a CD which is longer. I'm recording 5 songs so really it's an EP, but since most people don't know what that means ( I admit, I had to look this up on google..lol), I'm just going to call it a CD.

I'm calling this project 'Oceans' after the song I wrote after retuning from Africa this summer. I'm planning on making that the theme. In a way, this is my way of remembering them and keeping the memories of the people I met there alive. One thing they asked us when we left was to remember them, and in a small way, this in how I'm going to do that. Hopefully it will be done in time to get some copies to my friends from Mozambique this summer!

Ok, that's all for now.. I'm heading out the door to the studio! We're recording drums today!!! I'm pretty excited about it :)

Sheer

Mark 9:

19 Jesus said to them, “You faithless people! How long must I be with you? How long must I put up with you? Bring the boy to me.”
20 So they brought the boy. But when the evil spirit saw Jesus, it threw the child into a violent convulsion, and he fell to the ground, writhing and foaming at the mouth.
21 “How long has this been happening?” Jesus asked the boy’s father.
He replied, “Since he was a little boy. 22 The spirit often throws him into the fire or into water, trying to kill him. Have mercy on us and help us, if you can.”
23 “What do you mean, ‘If I can’?” Jesus asked. “Anything is possible if a person believes.”
24 The father instantly cried out, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!”

...“I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!”

There's something about this passage that resonates in me every time. I tend to be the type that likes to convince myself that I'm strong enough. I think that often, this carries over into the way I interact with God. What I love SO much about the man in this passage is the fact that he's real, shamelessly honesty, and humble enough to admit that he's incapable . I'm so self determined at times that I feel I have to be the one to work up the strength and courage to trust Him or even just to understand Him. Yet, that's such a twisted way of thinking. I know that it's our choice whether or not we do, but I also know that on my own strength I'm going to fall on my face. I don't want to wear a mask. I'm thankful that God can see me even when I do, but I want to rid myself of it all together. It's such a freeing thought to think that we can ask Him to help us overcome are humanness and doubt and that He's more than willing to meet us where we're at.

Times

I hear you say "my love is over,
its underneath, its inside, its in between
the times you doubt me, when you can't feel
the times that you've questioned 'is this for real?'
the times you've broken, the times that you mend
the times you hate me and the times that you bend
well my love is over, its underneath
its inside, its in between,
these times you're healing
and when your heart breaks
the times that you feel like you've fallen from grace
the times you're hurting
the times that you heal
the times you go hungry and are tempted to steal
in times of confusion and chaos and pain
im there in your sorrow under the weight of your shame
im there through your heartache
im there in the storm
my love I will keep you by my power alone
I dont care where you've fallen, where you have been
I'll never forsake you
my love never ends", it never ends.

A little piece of Africa

Today I had the opportunity to do something that I love. Since coming home from Africa last summer, I have known that my story isn't finished. A chapter may have come to a close for now, but there are still many pages to turn. The month I spent there was life changing, eye opening, and unforgettable. However, that is only part of the story. "Now that I have seen I am responsible", is how the lines of one of my favorite songs goes. I believe that it is my job to share what I learned and saw while I was there, and since I can't go back right now, this is my mission field and this is how I serve Africa.
Caitlyn and I have made it our goal to share our experience with those around us, and today we were able to do just that. We gave a presentation to over 50 residents of the retirement home that I work at. Looking past the fact that some of them fell asleep, or that some plugged their ears when I played guitar and sang ( I learned that turning your amp up really loud because you think that all elderly people are practically deaf,is not a good idea and only messes with their hearing aids making things very uncomfortable for them... oops) it went REALLY well. We had several come and talk to us after it was over and some even took information on child sponsorship! I love giving presentations because while I'm up there all the stories and memories come flooding back and for an hour or so, I'm back in Mozambique.
We figured out today that we (Caitlyn and I) have been able to share our story with over 5 groups and churches, and over 300 people since we got home. I guess my point of posting this is simple that I'm realizing how sometimes what we feel like God is asking us to do isn't always what we had originally planed.. I guess that's obvious and sort of goes without saying, but lately it just seems to be what He's lovingly been pounding into my head. Honestly, I would have much rather gone to Africa this summer. As much as I love talking about it, it's just not the same. It's difficult sometimes, but this is where I am and this is the job I have been given and I'm excited about it. It's funny how God can work things out and open doors we never even knew existed when we're willing to obey.

The ant and the grasshopper...

THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER

This one is a little different... .


Two Different Versions....


Two Different Morals



OLD VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away..

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



MODERN VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.

CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'

ACORN stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Then Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

President Obama condemns the ant and blames President Bush, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper's plight.

Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar and given to the grasshopper.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and once peaceful, neighborhood.

The entire Nation collapses bringing the rest of the free world with it. MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2012.

Haha this made me laugh...

“Those unwilling to work will not get to eat.” 2 Thessalonians 3:10


P.S. Laziness = Very unattractive ;)

Clutter

I really hate having a messy room.. you probably wouldn't guess that most of the time when you see it but it's true, really. The other day I was in one of those moods where I felt like doing some really deep cleaning and declutterizing (is that even a word??).. and so I was going through my closet and my desk and getting rid of things. Under my desk was a pile of boxes that had been sitting there since Christmas. I had been meaning to get rid of them for a long time but after I while they just became a part of the landscape of my room and I didn't even notice them anymore. Clearly, they were serving absolutely no purpose and only getting in the way, but time (and probably laziness) kept me from even seeing them anymore. I'm reminded of the "clutter" in my own life sometimes, the little things that I don't notice that are either serving no purpose or hindering me in some way. Yet, because I have become accustomed to them I can't even tell. It's times like that when I'm thankful to be surrounded by such amazing people, friends and family that aren't afraid to point out what I can't see and who aren't afraid to tell me the hard truth.

Pushing Myself

I have NEVER been a morning person. Getting me out of bed is a miracle each day! Once I'm up and moving around I'm totally fine, but those first few moments are not pretty and it's those few moments that I dread and which seem to have so much power over me. It's those few moments of misery that cause me to sleep my day away and miss out. I think that the real issue is not so much that I'm not a morning person as much as it is that I'm a night person. At 21 I feel like I've finally made the connection that if I want to get up early... it's going to require a sacrifice of my night life.. haha. The remedy: 6am work our classes! When Caitlyn first mentioned it to me my first thought was... "you have got to be kidding", but then I thought about it and realized that if I want to break my bad habits, I'm going to have to DO SOMETHING about it and not just talk about changing them. So I signed up. I now beat the sun to start the day... 5am on Mondays and Thursdays, and 6:30 on Tuesdays and Friday. Surprisingly, it's not as difficult as I thought it would be and it feels good to overcome the temptation to be lazy. It makes me realize that when you have a goal or a purpose that is motivating you, things become much easier to accomplish. It's so easy to let apathy steel your energy and it's been worth reclaiming. Like so many things in life it just takes a first step and a little pushing through.

Wrestling

"1 For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
2 A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6 A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace...

10 I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. 11 Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end."


I'm struggling to be OK with this right now.

Sin

I'm frustrated tonight. I HATE it. I hate seeing lives ripped apart and people hurt and deceived. We can talk about grace until we turn blue, but the fact is that there are consequences. Some bigger than others...

"Sin is a monster of such awful mien,
That to be hated needs but to be seen,
But seen too oft, familiar with face,
We first endure,
Then pity,
Then embrace."

-Alexander Pope

Questions..

Life is just funny sometimes. I absolutely love it, but sometimes I catch myself throwing my hands in the air in a furry of cluelessness and having to laugh at how incredibly uncertain it really is! I have so many questions, so many hopes and dreams, so many doubts, so many plans, so many disappointments, and so many thrills that make the whole of it. I found myself telling someone the other day that I've realized that life will never be 'perfect'. I will never "have it ALL together" and I'll never know all the answers. I'm learning to just be ok with that and embrace it for all that it is, realizing that if I was perfect, I would not need the grace that I'm so desperate for each day. This is not an excuse for apathy, because I HATE apathy, but it is a wake up call to come alive. I'm learning that all I really have is the moment and if I spend it worrying about the next one I've just missed the point. I'm learning to face the truth, even when it's ugly, and be ok with it, let it go, and move on. what other choice do I really have? Life is so short. I don't want to forget to live it.

"We're breathing in the highs and lows, we call it living" - Needle and Haystack life, Switchfoot.

Alive Again