Wrestling

"1 For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
2 A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6 A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace...

10 I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. 11 Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end."


I'm struggling to be OK with this right now.

Sin

I'm frustrated tonight. I HATE it. I hate seeing lives ripped apart and people hurt and deceived. We can talk about grace until we turn blue, but the fact is that there are consequences. Some bigger than others...

"Sin is a monster of such awful mien,
That to be hated needs but to be seen,
But seen too oft, familiar with face,
We first endure,
Then pity,
Then embrace."

-Alexander Pope

Questions..

Life is just funny sometimes. I absolutely love it, but sometimes I catch myself throwing my hands in the air in a furry of cluelessness and having to laugh at how incredibly uncertain it really is! I have so many questions, so many hopes and dreams, so many doubts, so many plans, so many disappointments, and so many thrills that make the whole of it. I found myself telling someone the other day that I've realized that life will never be 'perfect'. I will never "have it ALL together" and I'll never know all the answers. I'm learning to just be ok with that and embrace it for all that it is, realizing that if I was perfect, I would not need the grace that I'm so desperate for each day. This is not an excuse for apathy, because I HATE apathy, but it is a wake up call to come alive. I'm learning that all I really have is the moment and if I spend it worrying about the next one I've just missed the point. I'm learning to face the truth, even when it's ugly, and be ok with it, let it go, and move on. what other choice do I really have? Life is so short. I don't want to forget to live it.

"We're breathing in the highs and lows, we call it living" - Needle and Haystack life, Switchfoot.

Alive Again